Audio Reviews - Colombiana - Audio Review

A young woman, after witnessing her parents' murder as a child in Bogota, grows up to be a stone-cold assassin.

Tags:  movie review, audio, spill, spill.com, colombiana, zoe saldana

123 Comments for Colombiana - Audio Review

  • September 16, 2011 at 1:22 AM, said ...

    Oh and 'the wait ends..' whut ?

  • September 16, 2011 at 1:19 AM, said ...

    Western heroine action/thriller movies always have a certain formula to them :/ always revenge and sexually orientated, the lead doesn't have to be necessarily gifted but rather goodlooking, the plot irrelevant, and the acting ehh boobs are better.

  • September 03, 2011 at 4:24 AM, said ...

    This film is a Low Matinee. It succeeded in getting us to actually feel something for the character where in other actions films, one just roots for the protagonist. The character was portrayed as flawed but vulnerable. Saldana is skinny, ergo she had to move around all ninja style as opposed to going in guns ablazin`. Except for the ending sequence which was a fit as she was pushed over the edge in the third act.

  • September 01, 2011 at 3:41 AM, Nedan said ...

    It makes me sad that this wasn't better. I've always been a fan of bad ass heroine movies. There are so few movies that get the tough girl thing right. I'm pissed I missed Hannah in theaters but it should be on DVD soon enough.

  • August 31, 2011 at 9:22 PM, said ...

    if by "fine" you mean sexy then that's cool.... but fine like "Nicole Austin" fine then of course not but i'd smash before i'd pass... and good review

  • August 31, 2011 at 4:32 PM, said ...

    This review will make a hell of a good video review.  Its always good when yall talk about Zoe and how skinny she is.  These movies like this, Salt, and Wanted where they got women skinny as tree limbs beating up dudes twice their size is hard to believe to me anyway.  If she was built like Chyna or something it be different.  From the trailer this looks like no more than a rental and a Kill Bill knock-off without the silly Ketchup blood all over the place.

  • August 31, 2011 at 6:02 AM, Orlando Howard said ...

    Co-Host needs some sex if he thinks zoe is fine.

  • August 31, 2011 at 5:57 AM, Orlando Howard said ...

    @Brian_M Yep!

  • August 31, 2011 at 5:55 AM, Orlando Howard said ...

    @Dionne Halleilujah! Preach girl! If you have a golden ass then it must like Jill Scot''s or Faith Evans'. Bless you.

    Just kidding, As you know by now I am a man. LOL

    I agree with you though.

  • August 30, 2011 at 10:24 PM, said ...

    To the people who responded coherently: I'm not saying the Spill crew is sexist (though you may be talking to Rachel and not me). I already mentioned that I talk about hot men all the time. But you can be all for equal rights and still make sexist jokes. Sometimes people go to far.

    I just commented saying I felt some what uncomfortable during the review, and I tried to figure out why.  I can take a joke, I've listen to a lot of other reviews and laughed.  However, the body snarking in this one rubbed me the wrong way. I can still like Spill while commenting on the things I don't like about them.  Criticism isn't always a bad thing.

    To the people who attempted to insult me: Kiss my black, golden ass :D

  • August 30, 2011 at 2:23 PM, Indiana Jones said ...

    Yeah, Leon is in the right. Her face isn't even that attractive...too skinny, too angry.

  • August 29, 2011 at 6:46 PM, said ...

    Amandla Stenberg is also going to be in The Hunger Games, playing Rue! :D

  • August 29, 2011 at 4:00 PM, Moses-18 said ...

    Leon,

     

    You are the Man.  You speak the truth.  Zoe is not fine.  That is not to say that I wouldn't sleep with her.  As a man, once a woman give us consent and opportunity, we will sleep with her regardless, unless she is repulsive.  She's not repulsive, but there is nothing alluring about her body.  She is pretty, but I wouldn't send her a drink in a club.

  • August 29, 2011 at 4:00 PM, said ...

    good review,i will probably rent this movie when it gets to dvd

  • August 29, 2011 at 2:09 PM, said ...

    @Dionne and Rachel: SHUT THE HELL UP!!

  • August 29, 2011 at 9:04 AM, Brian Melko said ...

    Honestly this is just how guys shoot the shit. Just because Spill puts it up for the public to enjoy doesn't make them sexist. Don't act like for a minute you never have been out with your girlfriends and you've talked about some hot guy or celebrity, lets get real...

  • August 29, 2011 at 5:47 AM, said ...

    She's like a darker version of clahista flockhart.

  • August 29, 2011 at 3:37 AM, Haron Dick said ...

    This seems like a really good DVD rental :) Will check it out then.

  • August 29, 2011 at 2:06 AM, coffee_rock_reviewer said ...

    Tom: That is literally the same thing I though. It's practically the same movie, this one is just longer and not animated.

  • August 29, 2011 at 12:59 AM, said ...

    ....really...just really. ALl of this bitching because some guys are saying they wouldn't bone some chick, well so fucking what. They are entitled to their own private opinions and have the right to state them as such, so don't get all up in arms saying that they are being sexisit, or SPill.com is a sexist sight. Yeah htey might make some funnny, and then not so funny, jokes about sexual things but honestly its not that much of a big deal. You guys are acting as if they said they want to drag ehr ass out onto the street and do a public pole of people that wouldn't fuck her becuase she is skinny. And in the terms of the review, yeah it is a bit odd to see someone of her size weilding guns that huge, but mroe power to her. Hell sigourney weaver in ALiens wasn't that muscle bound yet no one complained about her firing off guns like the badass she is. THe point I am getting at is this; to all of the commentors that are saying that Spill.com is filled with nothing mroe than sexist, pig-headed, low browed, cunt hungry, sex adled, racist, homophobic, anime hating, sick twisted bastards that can't seem to get their own heads out of their asses guess what, Deal with it. It's there site, and if it really bothers you that much just don't listen. Sure you can leave your little pointless and irritating comment but I am pretty sure that Korey won't be giving a shit about it between mouthfulls of watermelon and fried chicken. Nor would Cyrus as he is jacking off once again to the stained cut out of Elektra from the comics. And Co-host will be to busy trying to fnd the lemon pledge to even read these. SO yeah, if ya don't like you can find the fuck that I, and the entire Spill crew, don't give and suck it like a cheap two dollar whore.

  • August 28, 2011 at 11:47 PM, said ...

    i'm glad this movie sucked so that all the feminists can finally shut up and you are all fucking stupid to want to have sex with zoe saldana

  • August 28, 2011 at 6:29 PM, Tom said ...

    haven’t heard the review yet but what I got off the trailer reminds me of the anime section in kill bill 1 the origin  of o-ren ishii

  • August 28, 2011 at 5:59 PM, Anthony D said ...

    Zoe Saldana is a sex goddess.....how the hell can you possibly not want to bang her????????? This guys are crazy

  • August 28, 2011 at 8:48 AM, Robin M said ...

    To Denny,

    Just to summarize it wasn't what Besson films they mentioned but what films they didn't mention. Then the films they did mention were not Luc Besson films for the most part.  There are rare exceptions but we mostly don't credit the producer or the writer but the director when we are talking about  it being "his film". Besson has directed plenty of films including some he also wrote and produced. These are the Besson films. They have common traits that you can pick on like his attraction to waifish women. 

    So lastly there was the how.  Besides the huge brain fart of missing Fifth Element and giving only passing mention to The Professional, they discussed his entire approach to film making based almost entirely on films he did not direct. Transporter was at the heart and soul of their approach which is legit.

     

    I can't make a great analogy but it was frustrating. Like listening to someone talk about Spielbergs early career while reverencing Goonies, Gremlins, Feivel Goes West and Joe Versus the Volcano while not mentioning Jaws and glazing over Raiders or Close Encounters and E.T.

     

    Ironically I was visiting because I haven't for a while and I was just reminding people about Spill.com while they were jizzing over Half in the Bag. Plinkett's over-rated  online spinoff. I think the Spill crew is awesome.

  • August 28, 2011 at 8:45 AM, Grace. C said ...

    Ugh the music in the trailer. We get it this is a dramatic action movie!!!  *random half mumbled line* DUN DUN DUN DUN *mumblemumblerevengerarrrevenge* DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMMM!!!!!!

     

    Really?!

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Colombiana Details

Synopsis:  A woman becomes a professional killer in order to seek revenge against the ruthless gangster who murdered her parents in this action thriller from director Olivier Megaton and writer/producer Luc Besson. As a young girl, Cataleya (Zoe Saldana) saw her parents killed in cold blood. Now Cataleya is all grown up, and she's determined to settle the sco...  Continue Reading

Starring:  Zoe Saldana, Michael Vartan, Lennie James, Jordi Mollà

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